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I am what I am
Aug 6, 2008
I've decided to take a leaf out of my youngest son's book. He may only be 10 years old but sometimes he blows me away with his maturity. Ali is Ali and that's the end of it. He knows what he likes and what he doesn't like. He stands up for what he believes in and doesn't give a stuff what anyone else thinks. He doesn't care about fashion or what's trendy, yet is still interested in pretty much everything. If I had the same attitude as Ali, I would have saved myself thousands of dollars over the years!
Last weekend he really proved his strength of character and individuality. There we were at Eden Park watching the All Blacks take on the Wallabies in the rugby Tri Nations. This was a birthday treat for both the boys as it fell in the middle of both their birthdays and we felt it would be the perfect gift, with Liam being such an All Blacks fanatic and Ali being such a die-hard Wallabies supporter. I packed both Ali's All Black jersey and his Wallabies one, just in case he didn't have the courage to front up in yellow. I should have known though – on this occasion wearing black wasn't an option!
We arrived at Eden Park and the first thing Ali did was buy a Wallabies flag to wave at the game. There were the four of us, three of us dressed from head to toe in black, the other resplendent in gold! As soon as we entered the stadium the comments started 'You're in the wrong jersey!' 'How did you end up with a Wallabies supporter in the family?' and many more, but Ali didn't care. He took his seat in the stadium and proudly waved his flag amidst a sea of black. To be honest, I was a bit worried! What if some of the more staunch supporters gave him a hard time? I needn't have worried, Ali had an absolute ball and grinned proudly through all the harmless ribbing. By half time he had made friends all over the place, grown men who insisted on shaking his hand for standing up for what he believed in, even though he was the minority. Unfortunately for poor Ali, it wasn't the Wallabies' night. By the time the final whistle went with the score at 39-10, he was reduced to a little ball, sunk down low in his seat, sad tears slowly rolling down his face. Don't you dare let on I told you that!
Even so, he proudly took his Wallabies flag to school on Monday and copped even more flack from his classmates for 'supporting the wrong team'. It didn't matter what they said, Ali didn't care. It might sound a small thing to some people but it sums up Ali's attitude to life in general! I'm really proud of him for sticking to his guns and not being swayed by peer pressure.
I'm not sure where he gets it from but I don't think it's me! I've come to the conclusion lately that I have still been a bit of a plonker over the last 12 months. Decluttering Month proved that in July. I've decided to make August my Decluttering Month as I was away for most of July but before I left for Australia I did get as far as having a bit of a look to at least SEE what needed decluttering - and I didn't like what I saw. I'm one of these people who, while completely happy with my life, constantly feels I have to improve myself. I'm always telling myself I'm going to be thinner, get fitter, dress better, drink less wine – you know the sort of thing, and always on a Monday!
It's one of those things you have a giggle about but I never realised until Decluttering Month how much all this 'self improvement' had cost me. For example, I went through my wardrobe before I went away and counted all the items of clothing I haven't worn since I bought them. Are you sitting down? I counted 25. 25!!! Three pairs of trousers, two skirts and the rest all tops. Admittedly, they were almost all purchased in sales but why on earth have I bought them if I haven't even worn them yet? Trying to improve myself I suppose; trying to look better. I used to go everywhere in my sports gear as I was always coming to or from the gym. Usually I'd been for a run but I didn't care if anyone saw me with covered in sweat and with a bright red face, even if I did look as though someone had shoved a carrot up my bottom in Mr Patel's.
Then I started getting recognised out and about – in The Warehouse, the supermarket, I never knew where it would be. I loved meeting new people but all of a sudden I became conscious of having to tidy myself up a bit – I didn't want to run into people looking all daggy and horrible! The last straw was when I went out with Liam a few months back and we got approached six times. Liam thought it was brilliant! I was just glad I had my make-up on!
I decided I had better start making more of an effort and when the sales came along I went shopping. I must stress I didn't buy all 25 things all at once! It's been a gradual progression and although I bought things in the sales, I still went shopping on the wrong days. You know how it goes. When you go shopping and you HAVE money, you can't find a single thing you like or that fits properly. When you go shopping and you really shouldn't, those are the days when EVERYTHING fits! My clothes have stayed the same size since I bought them – it's just me that hasn't. I love chunky knits! Unfortunately I look the size of a house in them which is why they never make it out of my wardrobe.
I kept up the 'new me' for a while and it was duly noted by my friends. I bought a hair straightener and used it at least twice and never went out without being smartly dressed and with full make-up on. You know what though? I couldn't keep it up – it's just not me. Maintaining it didn't even fit into my Simple Savings lifestyle. I drop the kids off at school in town every morning and go to the gym before work. If I need anything at the shops, I always get it then to save me another trip later – hence everyone still sees me in my gym gear. By the time I get home and start work there's no point getting poshed up as nobody's going to see me anyway! I soon discovered there's no point wearing anything decent to go and feed the chickens in the rain. If the dogs jump up on me with muddy feet when I get home in my gym gear it doesn't matter but if they were to do the same if I was wearing my flash gear, I'd be constantly putting them in the laundry. I'm also the messiest cook in the entire universe as Noel will vouch and anything decent I cooked in would soon end up with stains on it. Just ask my Mum – half the clothes I wore on holiday were hers. She insisted on lending them to me so I wouldn't be wandering around Queensland with dirty great stains all over my front!
I don't know what I'm going to do with them all – I mean, some of them are really lovely! Do I try and sell them, or give them to charity? Some of them I'm always going to look horrible in – you know, the ones you spot as you're walking out of the shop and grab it off the hanger thinking 'I haven't got time to try it on but I KNOW it will fit' only to try it on some time later and find it looks absolutely revolting – and that's if you can squeeze into it at all! I've decided to wait for now before deciding what to do with them. I'm not going to keep them indefinitely but I have given myself a time limit. I'm helping the local gym organise a 12 week 'Biggest Loser' challenge and at the end of that 12 weeks, that's when the decluttering will really begin!
It's not just clothing which has caused me to make some dreadful and expensive mistakes either. Do you remember several months ago I asked for help on the Forum for my 'pizza face?' The members were all so helpful and gave me some brilliant advice. I was spoilt for choice but ended up going for a bottle of witch hazel for toning and I picked up a bottle of Bio Oil on special for moisturising. For the first month it was absolutely brilliant, my skin had never been better! But then all of a sudden it totally packed up. I broke out in pimples, eczema, you name it I had it. With my Aussie trip coming up I didn't want to meet everyone looking so terrible so I went to a local pharmacy and asked their advice.
What a mistake! On the positive side I scored a free makeover. The beautician was very helpful and explained what was going on with my skin very well – apparently the Bio Oil I had been using was doing a great job of feeding my skin but it wasn't getting anything to drink – the eczema had come about as a result of my face drying out. She used some Shiseido products to cleanse, tone and moisturise my face, and also used an eye cream which I have never used before in my life. Apparently these were extremely gentle and would soothe my poor angry skin. They certainly felt good and were highly recommended so I bought one of each. I figured sometimes it was better to pay a bit more for skincare in the long run if it brought the desired results. The beautician then had a field day with make-up – oh dear, one of my long-buried Sad Sally vices was about to rear its ugly head. By the time she had finished I felt fabulous - and had also parted with a small fortune.
Still, it was decluttering month I figured, and now I was all set. I could get rid of all my old grungy make-up and skincare and simply learn to survive off these few bits and pieces. I couldn't wait to try out my new skincare and applied them religiously to begin with, much to Noel's amusement who actually went to the trouble of timing me in order to prove that it now took 20 minutes longer for me to get ready in the mornings. I didn't care – I looked on it as grabbing some precious 'me time' and enjoyed every minute of it.
Until day three, when my skin began screaming in protest. My face was stinging so much I could no longer bear to put anything on it and the eye cream had created a huge eczema break-out around both my eyes. I was going to Australia in just a couple of days so had no time to take it back and complain. This happened over a month ago, it still stings and I haven't been able to wear make-up since, with the exception of the SS picnic, where I had to plaster it on with a trowel to cover up all the eczema! What an absolute plonker – and what an expensive mistake. Noel sighed and shook his head. 'I don't know why you even bothered in the first place – your skin was much better when you didn't put anything on it at all!' So at present I am still stuck with four nearly-full bottles of Shiseido gunk. I am going to try and get the chemist to take it back – after all, the beautician did say to come back and see her if I had any problems with it – but I don't like my chances.
Ah yes, it's been a hard and expensive lesson and the moral of the story is – Penny, just bloody forget about wasting time, money and angst and stick to being yourself. I would like to think, hand on heart that this is a mistake I won't be daft enough to make again. In fact, I've a good mind to take a photo of my wardrobe and keep a copy in my purse to prevent such a thing from happening. Sporty, casual clothes and a make-up free face suit my lifestyle and that's the way I like it. Next time someone sees me out and about looking like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards I'll probably still be mortified, but I'll endeavour to remind myself that I'd much rather keep fit than sit around looking posh all day. I am what I am!
For love or money
Aug 25, 2008
We've been making quite a few positive changes since we got back from Australia - and it's all thanks to Matt Lippey! While hanging out with the Lippeys on the Sunshine Coast I couldn't help but notice that Sam, Jacqui and Tristan have to be the most cuddled children I have ever seen. It was lovely to see and I mentioned to Matt how lucky the kids are to have so much time spent with them. Matt just shrugged in his typical laid-back way and said 'Most people these days are just too busy being busy'. Never a truer word spoken and it occurred to me straight away (much to my horror) that I was one of those people. Until I went to Australia my whole life was one big rush. I always had to be somewhere, everything always had to be done today and of course there were never enough hours in the day. But Matt's words really struck a chord - most of the time I was just too busy being busy. What was it I was so busy doing anyway? How many of the places I went did I really have to go to? How many of the things I was trying to squeeze in every day did I really have to do?
I decided from that point on that I was going to stop being busy for busy's sake and start letting things go. I stopped making impossible 'to do' lists that I could never complete and just started going with the flow. Every day I started asking myself 'do you really have to do this today or can it wait?' and nine times out of 10 I found that it really didn't matter. I started noticing the difference straight away. I could go for almost a fortnight without filling my car with petrol. I wasn't always in town so we didn't go to Mr Patel's as often. Dinner was served earlier, the kids got their homework done earlier and 'cuddle time' was longer in the evenings. We all talked together more and even had time to play cards before bed. I started making time to go for a run, rather than worrying about the pile of ironing that nobody else could see in the cupboard and my iPod started getting used for the first time in more than two years. Instead of spending hours after school on the phone or computer, I didn't ring people or email them unless I had to and you know what? It felt blooming great! Rather rebellious actually.
Noel and I soon came to the realisation that in our attempt to spend more time with the family, we were actually robbing ourselves of countless precious hours together. The two of us have been heavily involved with the local rugby club for six years - Noel as a coach and me as team manager and club registrar. We took on the positions because we believed we would be a fun way to spend more time together - how wrong could we have been! Much as it has been rewarding in many ways, it has cost us a huge amount in time and money. I estimate I would lose at least a week's wages every year from sorting out disputes alone and for five months of the year Noel loses commission two days a week while taking time out to plan training sessions and coach his team. Now don't get me wrong, it's not about the money, we've always really enjoyed it - until recently, when we realised just how many hours it takes away from our children while we plan, organise and get everything together. We're talking hundreds of hours spent in meetings, on the phone and on the computer, while our kids are in another room or somewhere else. So much for bringing the family together, instead it's done the complete opposite! So as of yesterday, we have both resigned and it feels GOOD. Already everyone is saying 'you can't do that? Who else is going to do it?' We don't know but it's not our problem any more, yay! Nobody's indispensable after all. That decision alone will give us more weekends with the kids, more time together in the evenings twice a week, as Noel no longer has to work late into the night on training days to catch up and no more monthly meetings. From now on. family comes first. No more 'busy being busy'. Thanks Matt!
Things have been pretty quiet this past week, although I did go along to the podiatrist to try and sort out what was going on with my leg. I have to admit, I wasn't looking forward to it - I can't think of any worse job in the world than fiddling about with other peoples' feet! However, this guy came highly recommended so I figured he was worth a try. I'm so glad I went! Apart from being extremely good looking for someone with such a yukky job, he really knew his stuff. We still don't know if the bone is fractured but I have damaged some ligament-with-a-long-name in my foot and that's causing my leg to overcompensate. When I entered the room I was limping like Long John Silver but by the time he strapped me up I was back to normal. Best of all, I was allowed to run again! At least for a while; I have to see how it goes for a few more days but all seems to be well. The best $75 I've spent in a long time! So far I've lost around three kilos in my Biggest Loser Challenge and am having fun being part of the 'SS Weightwatchers' on the Forum. Who needs a personal trainer when you've got each other!
I was talking to Fiona the other day and suddenly realised that Liam has now been wheat-free for exactly a year. Boy, has he come on in leaps and bounds! He's happy and healthy and has barely had a day sick since being off the wheat; his whole immune system seems so much stronger. If you haven't seen it already, I have to tell you about something rather special that Fiona and little Jacqui have made! Fiona's wheat-free sponges are legendary and I've always intended to get the recipe from her but have never got around to it. I'm delighted to say I've finally got it, but the two of them went to a lot of effort to send it to me - they made me a video! It's hilarious (in the nicest possible way of course) and Jacqui is VERY helpful. Baking a cake has never been so much fun! Here is the first part of the video.
Here is the second part of the video.
When things come back to bite you
Aug 28, 2008
Yippeeee! The sun is shining! Just as the whole of NZ was despairing of it EVER stopping raining. The lawn and chicken run is a mudbath, the vege garden is awash and sad due to week's of unavoidable neglect and even the kids' cross country has been cancelled due to extreme danger of them all sliding down the hills. As far as the kids were concerned that was the best part! Still, it's lovely to see the sun for a few days and there's nobody happier than Noel, our resident Bob the Builder who has been impatiently waiting to get on and build our long awaited and much-needed new deck, before we all fall through the old one! He's doing a wonderful job so far I must say and has been very savvy with his timber, wasting as little as possible and waiting patiently for a special to come up on decking timber. It was worth the wait, as the deck has only ended up costing us half of what we anticipated! Bit by bit our little piece of paradise is coming together. It's taken us five years but the deck is the last of the major jobs and from now on we should be looking pretty presentable!
The evenings are starting to get a little longer and spring is just around the corner. On the whole, life is good! Except for one thing. Noel thinks I'm having an affair. I wish I was joking but I'm not; he seriously does. Before you ask, no I'm bloody well not! I'm afraid that the 'new, improved me' has given him the jitters. Trinny, Susannah and Gok's help has come back to bite me. The daggy, scruffy wife he's been living with for years has been replaced by someone who actually looks half decent for a change. I don't have a choice, I got rid of all my stained and scruffy clothes, along with all the unflattering colours and styles for my Decluttering Month. The years' worth of unused make-up also got decluttered and is now being used every day, along with the perfume I only ever wore on special occasions. Not only am I wearing more flattering clothes, they look better because I've lost four kilos in the last month. I've turned into an exercise junkie and am loving it! I feel fantastic and for the first time in years I don't see a blimp when I look in the mirror.
You would think he would be happy for me, wouldn't you? After all, he's the one I proudly share everything with - every gram of weight I lose, every kilometre I run, every weight I lift. Instead all I get are insinuations that I must have been with someone else - never mind that I return from the gym every day with my hair plastered to my head in sweat, my face resembling a tomato and stinking to high heaven. I suppose I can't blame him really, I mean how could any man resist me looking like that?! So if I'm not having a fling, why am I going to so much effort these days then? I can tell you why - I'm doing it for ME. I'm doing it because I've been a mother for 12 years and have never had - or made - the time to look after myself during those years. Now the kids are older I can leave them with their dad or Grandma without feeling guilty or worrying that they're too much trouble to look after. Sometimes the boys come to the gym or for a run with me too but mainly it's my time and I've come to love and look forward to it.
Why else am I doing it? Ah yes, I'm doing it for him too! The man I married 15 years ago, when I was 15 kilos lighter. The man I no longer wanted to be married to a hippo, especially as life cruelly decreed he should only put on five kilos himself in 15 years. The man who is absolutely everything to me, everything from chief deck builder and vege gardener to chief cuddler. The man who loves me for all my Simple Savings ways (if not the occasional Sad Sally one). I mean, who else would go to bed each night with someone who has toothpaste all over their face to try and dry her pimples out after reading it in the Vault?
We've been together for 17 years and we're proud of it. We've been through some crap. We've lost a son, lost our home and jobs all at the same time but come through it - what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, as they say. I reckon we're stronger than any couple I know - well, we were, I hope we still are. In our efforts to transform ourselves from Sally and Pete into Hanna and John we have created our own patch of paradise and a lifestyle we love. Everything we have done has been done on a budget, which is even more rewarding. What used to be a huge area covered in thick blackberry ten feet high is now an established orchard, with a large chicken run and hen house alongside. Where there was nothing but ivy, there are now banks of lawn for the kids to play. Where there were mounds of rubbish is now bark gardens and the vege garden. Three tumbledown old sheds have been knocked down so instead of an eyesore, we have a lake view. We enjoy fresh eggs every day and with every year that passes we grow more of our own food. Every step of the transformation has been achieved together and it's been fun. All the weed pulling, the bonfires, the trips to the dump and the hard yakka has been worth it. There's not a day that goes by where I don't stand on the veranda and think to myself how lucky I am to live in this place I love so much, with a family I adore.
As far as I'm concerned, I've got everything a wife possibly ask for. So why in heaven's name would I go looking for anyone else? I've got a loving husband who teaches our gorgeous boys so much and always makes time for them. He's my hunter-gatherer, the provider of the family with anything from fish and meat to fruit and veges. He's my best mate and I'm his. We're chalk and cheese in many ways but he's a good man and I would never change him. I just hope he realises it before too long. I suppose I should be flattered really that he thinks anyone would look at little old me twice but as I told him the other day, 'just because you think I'm alright mate, doesn't mean everyone else does!'
Domestic dramas aside, things have been pretty quiet! The kids have both been sent home from school sick on and off this week, which is most inconvenient as their schools are in opposite directions and I've had to make several more trips each day - thank goodness the price of petrol has dropped a bit! They seem to be growing up all of a sudden - or is it just me who is finally letting them? They never ask me for money or treats any more, instead they always buy their own if they want something. That in itself is a huge saving to me, I hardly set foot in a shop any more! I never realised how many treats they still used to sneak in with the essentials at Mr Patel's but now I don't even have to go in! I quite often combine my shopping with my morning run, which is actually quite helpful. It saves petrol for starters but also means I only buy what I need as I can only carry so much while running, even though I feel a right plonker hot-footing it up the street wielding a bottle of milk or a bag of potatoes. The things we do to save money!